Monday, October 10, 2011

fasting ... or should I say starving!?!?

I don't know if me starving, or should I say fasting for the first three days of last week helped ... But I think I have my eating habit under control more than I did before. I honestly can't believe I lasted three days! Him doing it with me prolly helped because I wasn't about to be the one to fail and hear him talk shit. Only upsetting thing about the "fasting" was that I didn't lose as much as I thought I would. That punk lost 10 lbs ... I lost a measley 6 .... Psssht. I'll be ok I told myself I was doing it to cleanse my body of toxins. I don't know if that was what was accomplished ... all I know is I had no freakin energy whatsoever ...

It was day 2 and I was running late from lunch because I was at the mall (with no money) walking around trying to distract myself from the thought of food. Didn't help though because as soon as I walked in all I smelled was food. When I got back to work I had like 7mins. I figured ... It's only the fifth floor ... How hard can that be!?!?!?! ... I think all the fasting made me think I was thin and could do it. So there I go running up five flights of stairs. NO MAM! By the third floor I had tunnel vision and shit. I thought I was going to pass out. Co workers would wonder where I am and finally someone would find me in the stairwell unconscious because I'm so out of shape! Thankfully that didn't happen. I took a breather and made it to the top, I couldn't really breath but I managed to clock in on time.

I was going to do some seven day soup diet but I hate to eat healthy and I know I wouldn't stick to it. Portion control is the only kinda diet I can manage ... That and starving myself. If I could change ONE thing about myself ... It would be my weight.