I don't get it!? I want this so bad but I can't seem to get a fucking hold of shit. I told myself I would eat right and exercise. This morning I had a small cup of coffee, non-dairy creamer because thanks to a special book, Skinny Bitch, I no longer care for puss juice ... err milk. On my lunch break I made a bad choice. I can't stand to be in the break room with the obnoxious mechanics so I left. I knew I had no gas and only a thirty minute break but I didn't care. Then I stopped at Bill Millers with a free meal coupon given to me by my boss and got a #5! I only ate like 5 fries and half the sandwich giving the rest away but that's besides the point. It didn't get any better. When I got home I ate a cookie from the pan of sweet bread my aunts gave me from the get together we had after the burial. Dinner was spaghetti and no mam, I ate more then I should with a slice of bread. To top all of this off, right before I sat my chunky butt down to blog how much I sucked today, I ate a brownie! Fuck my life ... now that I am reading this as I type ... I am totally embarrassed.
I just don't get it! There are days when I kill it. My eating is so on point I surprise myself and then one day I say 'ehh fuck it I can do good tomorrow, I'll bust my ass, double my workout and eat only fruit'. But no matter what promises I make to myself, in the end I always feel like a fat failure! I am hoping this blog will help. Maybe me reading this shit will do something for me and I won't have these constant "bad days" or whatever excuse I make up and want to call it. All I know is that I don't expect to change over night but I do expect only progression. Not to go up, up, up, just to let a bump bring me back down.
If anyone has any tips or advice or secrets .. please .. help me!